I deleted twitter, no one reads anything on Instagram, and no one knows about this blog, so I guess I’ll periodically use it to journal in a public yet unseen sort of way. B/c why not? A perfect solution to broadcasting my emotions with zero repurcussions of anyone actually paying attention. Anyway, I’ve been feely really sort of emotionally drained and mostly uninspired lately; part of this is the outcome of pouring all of my […]

An Impossible Library

I’ve finally sat down with the final of Damian Murphy’s (widely-available) books, The Star of Gnosia, and the opening narrative, “The Imperishable Sacraments,” has already successfully returned me to a place that I find inspiring, rewarding, and in a way, like a home I forget that I miss. Detailing a few days in the life of an aimless gnostic wandering around and barely surviving in what seems to be an old city, the details that […]


Continuing to mine the past despite my better intentions, I keep encountering specific things that send me back to 10 years ago before I moved to California. Today it was an errant .doc file on my hard-drive of some emails that Antonio had sent D-L 2007-2009, which I followed up by reading some of my own emails and gchat logs with him… What I feel most frustrated with, now at the end of the day, […]

Eternal Recurrence

In the act of coming to terms with sacrificing large portions of my library, I’m finding titles I’d forgotten about, re-reading books where it’s been years. Re-read Ariana Reines’ Mercury and spent longer than I intended reading emails between myself, Jackie Wang, Michael Thomas Taren and her. At this point nearly ten years ago. I don’t want to think about the past but I can’t help but consider the shifting ways I’ve carried my own […]

Banality & Trajectory

Suffering a minor injury three weeks ago has lead me down a road of boredom and restlessness that I’m finding difficult to deal with in any truly productive ways. This injury coincided with a change in my employment, moving myself into a realm with more time (theoretically a good thing) and less money (always annoying but should be fine once I adjust to the changes). The changes felt like a banalized but concentrated attack upon […]

The Body and the Experience of Limits

I’ve been extremely busy lately, to the point where any sort of internalized consideration of events or even just mere reflection has been relegated to those moments when I’m walking to or from somewhere, or perhaps between doing various tasks at one or the other day-job; all of this to say, of course, that this sort of thought itself has become interstitial. To a certain extent this is fine; it’s certainly easier when you’re trying […]