An Impossible Library

I’ve finally sat down with the final of Damian Murphy’s (widely-available) books, The Star of Gnosia, and the opening narrative, “The Imperishable Sacraments,” has already successfully returned me to a place that I find inspiring, rewarding, and in a way, like a home I forget that I miss. Detailing a few days in the life of an aimless gnostic wandering around and barely surviving in what seems to be an old city, the details that […]


Continuing to mine the past despite my better intentions, I keep encountering specific things that send me back to 10 years ago before I moved to California. Today it was an errant .doc file on my hard-drive of some emails that Antonio had sent D-L 2007-2009, which I followed up by reading some of my own emails and gchat logs with him… What I feel most frustrated with, now at the end of the day, […]

Eternal Recurrence

In the act of coming to terms with sacrificing large portions of my library, I’m finding titles I’d forgotten about, re-reading books where it’s been years. Re-read Ariana Reines’ Mercury and spent longer than I intended reading emails between myself, Jackie Wang, Michael Thomas Taren and her. At this point nearly ten years ago. I don’t want to think about the past but I can’t help but consider the shifting ways I’ve carried my own […]

Banality & Trajectory

Suffering a minor injury three weeks ago has lead me down a road of boredom and restlessness that I’m finding difficult to deal with in any truly productive ways. This injury coincided with a change in my employment, moving myself into a realm with more time (theoretically a good thing) and less money (always annoying but should be fine once I adjust to the changes). The changes felt like a banalized but concentrated attack upon […]

The Body and the Experience of Limits

I’ve been extremely busy lately, to the point where any sort of internalized consideration of events or even just mere reflection has been relegated to those moments when I’m walking to or from somewhere, or perhaps between doing various tasks at one or the other day-job; all of this to say, of course, that this sort of thought itself has become interstitial. To a certain extent this is fine; it’s certainly easier when you’re trying […]

The thing is, when something seems infinitely unattainable, the energy poured into the search is heightened. When you start getting closer to what it is that you’re looking for, when you can feel proximity, you slow down, lessen intensity. But that pushes the goal further away. How to maintain that sense of importance as you’re closing in? That excitement, that energy?

On Research As Practice

In another jag of (finally) finding myself inspired by film; was in a bit of a dry spell for a while. Picked back up Paul Sharits’s issue of FILM CULTURE which I’ve had a photocopy of for years but never read in its entirety. I finally digitized it which is making it easy to read. An article by Sharits that I expected to be somewhat of a drag ended up being quite inspiring, “A CINEMATICS […]

Material Evidence from the Outside

A friend of mine recently commented, regarding a grip of 12 inches he was posting photos of on Instagram, that he loves the cover art for Italo Disco singles because there’s something slightly off about them, something that reminds him of the bizarre record stores that pop up in his dream, with titles and covers impossibly absent from the real world. As someone with a consistently over-active dream life, there’s something so necessarily true about […]

Agatha and the Limitless Reading (Marguerite Duras, 1981)

“You’re making it up.” “I don’t know. I don’t think so.” Going from the inside out: L’Homme Atlantique, a perfect film1, as microcosm of Agatha et les lectures illimitées, a near-perfect film, as microcosm of Agatha, the bare-bones structure, a theatre script by Duras. There’s always a back and forth. But, the skeleton of the piece is not just the theatre script, but the obfuscation of biographical elements, whether or not those elements are “true […]

The Castle of Communion (Bernard Noël, 1969)

ONCE AGAIN I’M FALLING. ONCE AGAIN IT’S NIGHT. During an interview in EXIT 10/11 (Winter 1976/77), translated by Glenda George in Spectacular Diseases No. 5, Bernard Noël articulates that the job of criticism “should be explaining the functioning, the necessary [of the work].” This is perhaps the most sound and succinct description of what criticism should do that I’ve encountered (at least as a description that I agree with), and as such I’ve internalized it, […]