An Insistence on Perversion

I have been reading various texts lately that have been causing me to think about things in ways that seem important, and I’m trying to overcome my usual habits of just merely thinking these things and then moving on (even though these things often coalesce into whatever writing projects I’m working on). One could say that I’m trying to develop some sort of discipline to hold myself accountable to the ideas that are inspiring me. […]

Everything Performs

I have recently felt on the verge of a new articulation of both what it is about “movies” that I really respond to that also serves as a direction for what I think I want to accomplish with my movement. I have read Nicole Brenez’s article “Improvised Notes on French Expanded Cinema” probably five times since discovering it, and I have always responded to the excerpt I will quote before, but it really wasn’t until […]

TFW The Filmmaker Does Not Use Their Imagination

Ah three posts in a row about film! I must be in a mood. Watched Broadcast Signal Intrustion (2021) last night, and while it had some brilliant ideas that kept me interested for its run-time, it suffers from the problem that a number of contemporary horror films with “cool ideas” suffer from–namely the fact that somehow these folks that can get it together enough to actually get a movie made have absolutely zero understanding of […]

Eurotika, Part 1

I have written, already, about how severing my relationship to Letterboxd and abandoning logging the movies I’m watching has helped to change my relationship with film for the best. It has relaxed it, to some capacity. On a whim, I thought it would be fun to revisit the 12 part Eurotika series that the BBC ran in 1999, dedicated, as the title would indicate, to Eurotrash. The series was produced before a lot of eurotrash […]

Desert Island

Subtitles for Pollet’s Tu Imagines Robinson were recently completed, so I was thrilled to be able to sit down and finally watch the film. I love Pollet’s work, but find myself especially inspired by his Mediterranean films, and as this was the only overtly Mediterranean film left to see, I’d been very interested in the film for a while. I have, lately, found myself responding a bit lacklusterly to most of what I’ve been watching, […]


I deleted twitter, no one reads anything on Instagram, and no one knows about this blog, so I guess I’ll periodically use it to journal in a public yet unseen sort of way. B/c why not? A perfect solution to broadcasting my emotions with zero repurcussions of anyone actually paying attention. Anyway, I’ve been feely really sort of emotionally drained and mostly uninspired lately; part of this is the outcome of pouring all of my […]

An Impossible Library

I’ve finally sat down with the final of Damian Murphy’s (widely-available) books, The Star of Gnosia, and the opening narrative, “The Imperishable Sacraments,” has already successfully returned me to a place that I find inspiring, rewarding, and in a way, like a home I forget that I miss. Detailing a few days in the life of an aimless gnostic wandering around and barely surviving in what seems to be an old city, the details that […]


Continuing to mine the past despite my better intentions, I keep encountering specific things that send me back to 10 years ago before I moved to California. Today it was an errant .doc file on my hard-drive of some emails that Antonio had sent D-L 2007-2009, which I followed up by reading some of my own emails and gchat logs with him… What I feel most frustrated with, now at the end of the day, […]

Eternal Recurrence

In the act of coming to terms with sacrificing large portions of my library, I’m finding titles I’d forgotten about, re-reading books where it’s been years. Re-read Ariana Reines’ Mercury and spent longer than I intended reading emails between myself, Jackie Wang, Michael Thomas Taren and her. At this point nearly ten years ago. I don’t want to think about the past but I can’t help but consider the shifting ways I’ve carried my own […]

Banality & Trajectory

Suffering a minor injury three weeks ago has lead me down a road of boredom and restlessness that I’m finding difficult to deal with in any truly productive ways. This injury coincided with a change in my employment, moving myself into a realm with more time (theoretically a good thing) and less money (always annoying but should be fine once I adjust to the changes). The changes felt like a banalized but concentrated attack upon […]